Don’t Let Shame Become a Self-Destructive Spiral

Holding on to shameful experiences can be a literal ball and chain to your personal growth.  Re-writing the script with love and compassion for yourself and others is the way forward.

Down the Rabbit Hole

People who pathologically feel shame tend to internalize and overpersonalize everything that happens to them. They cannot see things in perspective. When something goes wrong, they say to themselves, “I’m to blame for what happened. It’s entirely my fault.” Not only do they demean themselves, but they also feel helpless, and don’t think that there’s anything they can do to change the situation. The internal critic in their heads continually judges and criticizes them, telling them that they are inadequate, inferior, or worthless.

https://hbr.org/2017/06/dont-let-shame-become-a-self-destructive-spiral

Why being extremely happy might be a bad thing | World Economic Forum

Research has looked at how extremely happy people are viewed.

Even if you’re a relatively happy person, you’re bound to run into people who are even more annoyingly happy than you. You know the type — that person who is chipper even before their morning coffee, who makes excessive use of exclamation points, whom bad news just rolls right off.

If you can’t be as happy as those annoyingly happy people, at least you can take solace in one fact: They’re more likely to get ripped off, new research suggests. Researchers at New York University, the University of Chicago and the University of Pennsylvania recently performed a series of studies on the perception of extremely happy people and concluded that they are often assumed to be pushovers.

Read more: Why being extremely happy might be a bad thing | World Economic Forum

On Non-Violent Communication

Learning how to communicate in 4 parts:

OBSERVE – When I see/hear/notice…

FEEL – I feel…

NEED – Because I need…

EXPRESS/REQUEST:  Would you be willing to..(action but not demands..) 4part_nvc_process

This framework for communication was developed by Marshall Rosenberg.  Learn More

8 Ways to Get a Difficult Conversation Back on Track

Despite our best intentions, conversations can frequently veer into difficult territory, producing frustration, resentment, and wasted time and effort. Take David, one of my coaching clients. Recently appointed to a business school leadership role, he was eager to advance his strategic agenda. Doing so required building his team members’ commitment to and sense of ownership over the proposed changes. When people were slow to step up and take on key tasks and roles, David felt frustrated by what he saw as their unwillingness to assume responsibility.